Frosty Windows


Though it seems Autumn may signify the death of nature,

it does not.

It preserves – it protects – it strengthens.

The trees still stand tall,

and below the Earth’s surface lies the warmth that we all hold dear to our memories.

Do not fear or dread the winter chill or the long haul of darkness.

Preserve – protect – and strengthen yourself

so when the trees bud and the flowers grow again,

you may grow taller and stronger than the year before.

Embrace the frost.

Embrace yourself.

And though your skin may be cold, keep your heart warm.

Life your life with peace,

and with the certainty that much is uncertain.


An Early Darkness & Big Foot

Something about the clocks changing really gets to me. It’s 4:30 PM, and as I look out at the giant glass windows and doors to the front of the office, all I manage to see is a dark background with the reflection of the inside.

I’m tired already.

All wants from prior to lunch have dispersed into thoughts of pajamas, tea, and TV shows that I’ve never watched before. Yeah, I think it’s important to state that I do NAHT watch much TV. At all. I watch Reign on Thursdays, rewatching True Blood with The Drummer as of right now (he’s never seen it),  Game of Thrones when it comes back on, and I fall asleep to the gentle hymns of a young Will Smith living with his uncle in West Philadelphia.

Between the gym, my boyfriend, family, friends, meal preps, and all of the other stupid adult things I have to do (like LAUNDRY. Ugh.) I rarely have time for TV. So you can imagine what happens to me when I actually have the time for it. It takes me half the evening to pick out something to watch.

The other night, I was on my computer and some Big Foot show was on. In all fairness, I leave the TV on animal planet when I leave my cat JUST in case Too Cute! Kittens comes on and she can realize she isn’t a lone wolf in the story of meows. I glanced up, a little stoned – I won’t lie – and just felt like all of humanity had died within that production crew.

How is this show still on?



All they do in that show is talk about the sounds they heard. I bet if I walked in the woods at night somewhere in East Bumfuck North America, I would hear weird shit too. Get a grip. You are creating a stagnate youth. It’s people that do shit like that that will keep our civilization from evolving.

Anywho, tonight is one of those nights.

I’ve already worked out this morning, and for the first time in a while I have absolutely no plans. It’s kind of nice. I’ll eat dinner, get a 30ish minute bout of yoga in, and then stare at the TV for a while before opening my computer and browsing the interwebs instead. I think the internet is more tailored to my ADD. The Drummer hates it when I browse my phone while we’re watching something. He thinks it’s because it doesn’t interest me. It’s not that – it’s that I truly cannot sit in one spot for long and direct my attention solely to one thing for an hour. That’s impossible for mwah!

I blame the darkness for my lack of motivation. I have plenty of people whom I haven’t seen in forever that I could call and stop in. But dammit. Dark equals sleep. Dark equals night time which equals sleep! I need to find a way to fight off this demonic early sunset that’s plagued my part of the world. I could never live in those places where darkness ensues for months at a time. I’d be seasonally depressed to the max.

Oh well.

Maybe, like the bears, the winter is a time for human hibernation. Maybe you’re SUPPOSE to stay in, snuggle, drink tea, and get lost in some electronic thing you own. Maybe it’s to gather enough energy to have the Spring/Summer of our lives!

So with that said, I am in hibernation.

There’s a Reason I’m Not a Parent

Last night my sister had loads of homework to do, so I had child duty for a few hours. My niece is 4 and cute as a button so I don’t mind watching her. She spent a solid ten minutes singing Frosty the Snowman but mumbling all of the lyrics except for legit-Froooosty the Snowman! Naturally, I sang the rest for her so she had a better idea of what it sounded like.

Auntie Lara? Can you tell me the story of Frosty the Snowman?

Um. Like, not the song?

Yeah. I want to know how he came alive and what happened to him.

Sure, kid.

Oh Lord.

I never really had experience with children before my niece. Hell, she was the first baby I ever held that didn’t scream like a banshee. I’m also not very good at telling children’s stories so I figured I’d just go with it.

I started with the usual. You know-kids are playing outside in the winter and make a snowman. Button nose, corn cob pipe. The full deal. Played with the kids all winter…

Auntie? What happened when the winter ended?

This is where Frosty went from a lovely children’s story to a tragedy in just a few minutes.

Well, it started getting warmer outside and..

And Frosty melted?

Yeah. Yeah, he started melting and the kids started getting sad.

Lara. Stop. Stop right there. Throw in a happily ever after dammit.

Word Vomit:

Frosty assured the children he would be back next winter. He told them all about uhhhh The Water Cycle and how ummm when he melts, his body is going to evaporate into the air and make a cloud. *Oh my God Lara did you really just go there?* Then when the cloud gets full, it starts to rain and his body will make a puddle and that will keep going until the winter comes back and he becomes snow again. Then the children can make a new snowman, throw that hat up on his head and BAM Frosty is back in action. The End.

I don’t even know where all that came from. I could have said something totally different. I could have told her that Frosty moves North for the summer and comes back the following winter. I clearly didn’t think of that at the time.


Don’t worry, sweetie. That’s a happy ending.

Oh. Okay. Can I have chocolate milk now?