before and after

#100HappyDays Day 3-5: Worth the Weight

Happy Monday Everyone! I tried my absolute hardest to get on here over the weekend to update my 100 Happy Days, but fortunately I was out and about. Yah know, being happy? The whole point of this challenge?!

I had a college reunion with a bunch of my old friends. We haven’t all been out together in years, so it was absolutely amazing to take a step back in time (yet old enough to drink) and get wild with my lady friends. That was totes a day full of happiness.

Sunday was spent with those said friends, getting breakfast at our old hot spot and then making my way home to my lovely family for a day full of reorganizing my LIFE. When I moved home with my parents last September, I thought it was only going to be temporary, so I just sort of just shoved my life into boxes and stuffed them in closets. Well, after over a year of shopping and shopping and (you see I have an issue) more shopping, I ran out of room to put all my crap so I completely revamped my room and threw some serious junk away to make it more of my own space.

Yesterday’s happiness definitely had to go to my family. I appreciate them immensely for letting me stay with them, rent free, while I pay for current college, pay back my last degree, pay for my brand new car, etc. etc. They don’t suffocate me, I feel like just another roommate there, and it isn’t bad that my mom cooks my dinner and folds my laundry sometimes either. HEY MA!

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Today’s #100HappyDays post is something a little personal and close to my heart. I wanted to make it up to you guys for not posting this weekend. So without further ado:

.Sorry For The Weight.

I have suffered with body image issues, on and off for pretty much of my entire life. I’ve been battling with my weight for 18 years and it hasn’t been a war that I’ve always won. And it definitely hasn’t been easy.

I wasn’t always overweight, either. I was a twig until I was in second grade. One day, I was playing outside in my backyard while my father was mowing the lawn. All of a sudden, a rock flew out and hit me directly in my left eye. That pain was the worst pain I’ve ever suffered. I threw up for hours after the event because the trauma was so bad and finally my parents took me to the hospital only to find out that I had a cataract in my eye and barely any vision left.

I was in the hospital for over a week and after that I was confined to my bed getting eye drops every 2 hours but not being able to move more than that. No running. No jumping. I couldn’t even bend over to pick something up because the doctors were afraid I would suffer from a detached retina.

Finally after seeing specialist after specialist, one eye surgeon found the slightest bit of sight in my eye and put me in for surgery. I underwent cataract surgery and a few years later, Lasik eye surgery. I still have really bad vision, but that’s for another time.

In those few years that I wasn’t able to do anything that an active child was able to do, I put on a little weight. All I could do was eat, and shit, that’s exactly what I did. Middle school threw some bullies at me, but it was maybe one or two boys at the most. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but it still hurt nonetheless.

By 7th grade, my mom signed me up for a weight loss program and I lost 30 lbs. Throw in some puberty boobs and a growth spurt and I looked pretty awesome.

Cue 8th grade and high school: That all went down hill.

Throughout most of my adolescence, I was in the dark. Drugs. Drinking. Smoking. Partying. I was the wildest 14 year old you would ever meet in your life. I was like a guest out of the Steve Wilkos Show. I didn’t slap my mama or anything, but I definitely hit the bottle hard. This topic will most certainly be covered another time because my story is far too long for today’s happiness tale.

During that time, I blindly ate. And drank. And ate. And ate. Until finally by my senior year of high school/freshman year of college, I tipped the scale at a staggering 210 pounds. To be completely honest, when I looked in the mirror back then, I had NO idea I was that big. I don’t know if it was my adolescent drug induced haze or maybe the beginning of my happy life that distorted my perception of myself, but I’m glad I realize it now.

And here, we have the before picture:

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Sorry about the awful red streak across my face, I try to keep myself anonymous though I’m sure it doesn’t work too well haha

When I got to college, I had no car. I think that’s what honestly saved my life. I had to walk EVERYWHERE. I had to walk to get food, to go to class, to go to my friends’ houses, etc. It got me moving. WAY more than I ever moved in my life. And by the end of my sophomore year of college, I was getting compliments that completely confused me.

All of a sudden, I started glancing at pictures like the one I just showed you and my jaw dropped.

WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL? DID I REALLY LOOK LIKE THAT?

HOW IN THE WORLD DID I MISS THAT?

IWASAHOUSE.

It was then that I started to care a little bit more about what I ate. It was an extremely slow process. I started out by just paying attention to my nutrition. I mean, it was still college so I definitely had my fair share of pizza, but I traded most things for Smart Ones and cereal after I realized the old me could make a cup of water quiver with every step like I was in Jurassic Park.

Over the years, I’ve learned SO much about food. Nutrition. Good foods. Bad foods. And the scientific reasoning and processes behind everything we eat. I now tailor my diet to my specific personality. I eat all the healthy foods I love, but on Saturdays I get to crack out on pizza. It’s my favorite food, and dammit obesity, you will NOT take pizza away from me.

Once I realized eating right just wasn’t going to cut it alone, I started working out. I’ve been really into it for almost a consistent year, and in and out of the game for a few years. To go from never working out to trying to be hardcore is tough. I HATED working out. Honestly, when you’re fat and tired from walking up a flight of stairs, why in the world would you want to work out for an hour? It took an easing into it and now I love working out. I switch it up all the time and I make sure I’m always having fun.

Now I know I know, where’s the after picture right? First off, I just want to apologize for my Charlie’s Angels stance. I don’t have any social media and it was the only picture I could find with a full body side profile.

And now…

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That’s me a few months ago. I’ve actually lost 8 or 9 lbs. since then, so as you can tell, the work is never finished. I’m 70 pounds lighter. SEVENTY POUNDS!

It’s been hard. It’s been a long road. I have cried many, many, times, but I am stronger now than I ever was. I have 10 lbs. to go before I am at my dream weight. The weight I’ve always wanted to be. And I think I’m going to cry harder than ever when I reach that. But this time, it will be tears of joy.

So today, I am happy for the determination and hard work it took to get me where I am today with my health. I have struggled with this for my entire life and I probably will continue to struggle with it for the remainder.

But like I always say, life isn’t easy. And if this is a challenge that I have to face to be the happiest person possible, well then,

GAME ON.

 

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