Dating

Love After Love

It’s been a few weeks. Maybe a month. My apologies – I’m terrible at keeping up!

However, there’s something that I’ve been dying to write about – because this is my space – my internet journal, if you will – and I need to write it down as an insurance policy, in case I ever forget.

Since my ex, I’d been anxiously pondering what love would feel like after the first one. After the first heartbreak. Would I remember what it felt like? Would it feel the same? Would I be scared?

Well, on our anniversary last month, The Drummer told me he loved me. It was something I wasn’t expecting, but I was ready for. Prior to our anniversary, people started asking me if I loved him. I told them I didn’t know – mostly because I didn’t want to say it out loud. I didn’t want to jinx it. My ex was the first and only person I ever said I love you to- I said it first – and dammit, I swore I’d never say it first again. For several months I’d been quietly looking at the Drummer while we’re laying in bed together and just thinking the words in my head.

I love you.

But I refused to say it out loud. I didn’t need to. I knew how I felt, and not saying it was okay. Because showing it matters more.

But low and behold, on our anniversary night when I was about to fall asleep, I asked him to give me a hug and kiss goodnight because he wasn’t tired yet.

He laid down and looked at me.

You know I love you, right?

What? Huh? Yeah, I know.

….Wait, did you say you loved me?

Yes!

I honestly thought I didn’t hear him right. I didn’t want to respond without being 100% sure I heard him right. Of course, I told him I loved him too. Because I do. Every bit of him. He’s been the kindest, sweetest man, and has treated me better in this little-over-a-year that anyone has treated me in my entire lifetime. We aren’t perfect – but we’re happy. And affectionate. Yet have the perfect amount of space between us to the point where we always miss each other. It’s absolutely lovely.

And in that moment – in that few seconds where our hearts were all laid on the table, or the bed if you want to be technical, I knew it was possible. Yes, Lara. You are able to love again. And it’s real – and true – and genuine. And because of that moment and this relationship I will always remember my capacity to love does not end with one person. To many, that may not be a big surprise but to me it means the world.

I am the proof, my friends. Feeling love after such a tremendous heartbreak is possible. And to answer some of my own questions, it feels the same and different all at the same time. The same because when I look at him I want to just melt with happiness, but different because it’s a more mature kind of love. It’s a more appreciative love. Because I know nothing in this life is every promised to us and we don’t know what tomorrow brings. I refuse to go to bed angry, or leave without telling him I love him, or even without thanking him for something simple like getting me a glass of water. It’s so important to do those little things because that’s what keeps love alive.

Love is a verb. It’s an action. And just because you feel it for someone doesn’t make it constant. You must work at it. Nurture it. Help it grow. And don’t ever stop. Whether you are 17 or 70, loving someone is still something you must do. Many people forget that and let it fall apart at the seams. If you try your hardest and it still falls apart, so be it. But if you let it, shame on you. Because love is one hell of a feeling. And I’ll never forget that again.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of my followers. If you don’t take anything from this post, at least take some love from it, because I have plenty to go around. From my heart to yours, Namaste.

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The Drummer: The Good, the Better, the Best: An Update

I’ve figured since it’s been so long I owe everyone an update on The Drummer. For those of you just tuning in, he’s my Online Dating Success Story. In just a few short weeks, it will mark a year since our first date. I honestly can’t believe it.

He was the final straw. The I have had it up to fucking HERE with online dating and if this one doesn’t work out then I just give the fuck up last straw.

I drove around for a solid hour before our date, smoking cigarettes and trying to stay positive.

Well, Lara, you’ve done your homework. You’ve seen just about everything there is to see on his Facebook without you actually having a Facebook. You’ve googled, binged, yahooed, and background checked the terms “The Drummer’s Real Name Murderer, Felon, Arrested” as many times as you could. You’ve creeped on his YouTube page several hundred times, pausing at that one good side angle of his face and imagined it in front of yours. This will be just fine.

And just like that, he became my boo.

Yes. That must be the LAMEST nickname in the world to give your boyfriend, but I don’t like calling him baaaaabe, baby, or hunny. I’ve never really called anyone those words except for The Ex and for some reason it just doesn’t fit The Drummer. I started calling him boo as a joke. Honestly, total joke. But it stuck. And hey, I’ve heard of worse nicknames.

He’s been absolutely amazing – our relationship has been absolutely amazing. Of course we’ve had our tiffs. Sometimes I’m close minded, and sometimes he’s just a guy, but we both recognize our faults and try to make the best of them. We are certainly not perfect, but we’re happy.

This relationship is different this time around. I used to worry so much with The Ex. From the very beginning of our relationship to the very end, I was constantly worried. I was never sure about his feelings because I always knew how low I fell on the totem pole. I’ve never expected to be the most important thing in someone else’s life, but dammit I deserve to be one of the important things. When The Drummer and I first got together, I used to ask him if we could see each other on a Friday night since I hadn’t seen him all week and he would just laugh at me. But I’m not used to that. I had to ask my ex to hang out because, to be honest, the answer was “no” a lot of times. Band things, practice, shows, “guys night,” “alone night.” Those were all things that were far more important than seeing me once or twice a week. When we had been together for YEARS, mind you.

But not with my Drummer. If he doesn’t have plans, and I don’t have plans, our plans are together. And it’s nice because I don’t get to see him all the time. During the week, I’m working like a mad dog and working out harder – and he’s doing the same. When I get to his place on Friday, the first thing I do is throw my bag down and hop in his bed. It’s the first time all week that I get to just lay.

I’m flying to Illinios with him on Thanksgiving day to spend the holiday with him and his family. I’ve never met them before since they live so far away and I’m excited to meet the people closest to him. I’m a little nervous because I have to deal with the whole anxiety of Will they like me? thing, but from what he tells me I should be fine.

And that’s pretty much it for Drummer updates. It’s been one great year and I honestly hope I get to spend more with him. So far, it looks like that’s a possibility.

Oh Hey, WordPress.

Um, WordPress? Is that you? Do you remember me?

Does anyone even read my stuff anymore? Haha

My apologies for being an awful blogger. Life has a way of making your interests change with the wind. It isn’t that I’m not interested in writing anymore. It’s just I have been preoccupied with other things that I have less time for internet searching & writing. Plus, the amount of writers block I have surpasses any ability to “publish post.” Like, when I tell you I’m having a hard time blogging, I LEGIT am. I have about a dozen posts where I have a few sentences written in each and they are collecting dust in my drafts. I just have so much to say, how in the hell am I having trouble writing it all down?

I officially finished with classes last week for the summer. I decided to take some months off because the weather is starting to get nicer and I really wanted to enjoy the seasons. Last summer was seriously the best summer I’ve ever had (AND I was single, mind you) and I don’t want this one to be any different. It’ll give me more time to be outside, be with my friends, and of course to work out more.

Which BY THE WAY, I’m 8 lbs over my goal weight and counting! I’m honestly not looking to lose more poundage, it just comes with the territory of working out every day. However, if I lose any more than 9 lbs, I will have to start eating more because then I’d be underweight. Who the hell would have thought I would ever have that issue? Haha!

And I assure you all, it’s from the healthiest way possible. I eat 5 meals a day and workout 4-5 days a week. I keep my body completely nourished and I pay very close attention to what I’m eating. My mom gets all worried because I’m so crazy about it, but she needs to relax. I’ve been quitting smoking, cutting down on drinking, and now I’m addicted to….fitness?…eating healthy? OHHHH THE HORROR! Someone get me a Marlboro.

Jokinnnng.

I’m not going to lie, life has been pretty good. It’s a bit dull because Spring has just sprung and it’s still a bit too cold to venture outside of the business walls, but rest assured I will be out there.

I know some of you may be wondering how me and The Drummer are doing, and honestly I have no complaints. We’ve been dating for about 5 months! Can you believe it? Time has honestly flown and I couldn’t be any happier. We are so different, but mesh together so well and that’s part of the reason I keep coming back for more. He’s intelligent, honest, and I value his opinion because it makes me think of something different than my own – even if I don’t necessarily agree with it. I never would have thought a year ago that I would be where I am, with who I am with, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I did have a bit of a breakdown a few weeks ago. Drunken conversations fueled some tears and frustration in me that I buried pretty deep for a while. OHHH the first Lara cry of the relationship: Drummer, you are officially welcomed into my life. Not with frustrations at him at all – but frustrations in myself. Though I had been going through the motions of the relationship and truly enjoying our time together, I refused to admit to myself that I liked him as much as I do. I never really spoke about him to my friends (though he’s met them) and when people ask how we are I simply just say “fine.” Though I know, it’s more than fine. It’s great. It’s wonderful. And a relationship like ours deserves some boasting. But I had been just so subconsciously afraid of giving “us” that positivity or even anything at all, that I’ve been holding back.

And I can’t do that anymore.

I am happy. And I have to stop being afraid of being happy because that was one of my downfalls of the ex-relationship. I worried for so long that our relationship would end that I never enjoyed it fully.

I have quite the opposite with this relationship – I enjoy it to the fullest because I never know what tomorrow will bring. And I don’t worry anymore. Or worry at all actually.

Life is too short to put any effort into negativity. You just have to take whatever life throws at you and accept it with open arms – even if it knocks you down sometimes.

I’ll elaborate more in the near future – I just wanted to give you guys a quick update on life because it’s been so long. And my writing is awfully rusty. I still read – don’t you worry. I know ALL ABOUT YO LIVES!

And for anyone just tuning in, I will be a better blogger. I promise! As soon as the sun gets hotter, the creative juices will start flowing. Ew. That sounded kind of gross actually.

x

An Open Letter to Myself

I wasn’t going to post this one. Sort of for myself. But I thought, why would I make a post private when I never have before? Honesty is what I’m here for.

Dear Lara From One Year Minus Three Days Ago,

I know you can’t breathe right now, but you’re going to be okay.

Today was one of the toughest days of your life thus far. Top Ten for sure. You did what millions of other people do every hour of every day. You felt what it was like to love someone for a long time-not like mom and dad, mind you-and then have them not love you back anymore. Hurts, huh? Remember when all of your friends went through that and you’d just shrug it off like, “What’s their problem?” Well, in hindsight, I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy. But after all, hindsight is always 20/20.

I’m here to tell you there’s a silver lining in the not-so-distant future. I know you already have an inkling, but I want you to be certain, because it’s there and you’re going for it.

You spent 3 and a half years in a fantasy world. A great one, but an illusion nonetheless. Yes you loved him, Lara. You loved him with everything you had in your gigantic, warm heart. Come on. I mean, who pathetically cries tears of happiness after an orgasm? That’s love, girl. Probably a little weird too, but hey, you’ve always been a bit strange.

Where you went wrong was believing this would last forever. You always knew it wouldn’t, but love can make a person so fucking blind that their amazing gift of intuition can be hidden as if it never existed.

I’m sure he truly loved you too. You could see it in the way he would look at you-especially when you weren’t paying attention. Remember how your friends would joke about his gaze toward you? It was love. Just not unconditional. You can’t hate him for that. And like I said, you always knew that.

In the next year you’re going to go on QUITE a ride. The first few months will be an absolutely alcohol induced, fuzzy time in your life. But hey, it’s summer. You’re totally allowed to go all out.

Get drunk. Make out with tons of guys. Put that breakup CD on repeat and drive to fucking nowhere while you cry your eyes out. That’s fine. You have to cry. And TRUST ME. Girl, you are going to be crying a lot.

You’re already steady love for your friends is going to grow in tremendous proportions. Taco is going to stick to your side like glue. Him and K be there every weekend to dance the heartbreak off and to give that weirdo that you’re drunkenly talking to an evil eye that means “STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM HER.” Heath and Matt are going to take you under their wing and let you stay with them in PA whenever you need to. That will be a blast. Be careful with the assault rifles, though-“woman scorned” isn’t your strong suit. You’ll reconnect with old friends you haven’t spoken to in a while and even make some new ones. Isn’t that the best thing about break-ups? The free time keeps on rolling. Though, I must say, I’m proud of you for always making time for your friends even in a relationship because that is why they are so understanding and more than willing to help you through this tough time. Don’t ever change that aspect of your personality.

***

Dating

Psh. Darling, you are going to date until your eyes bleed from the heinous acts of men. You’ll be fooled a few times, but quickly remember that not all guys are like the one you were with for so long. You will realize that the men you meet at bars are jerks, the ones your friends set you up with are emotionally unstable, and so you will enter the perilous realm of online dating.

*ALERT!* ONE OF THE WORST DATES YOU’VE EVER BEEN ON WILL CONSIST OF A MAN’S TOOTH FALLING OUT. Just get drunk and be nice to him. He means well.

You’ll have an attempted theft on your underwear. Ugh. Sigh. Men.

You will date and date and date until you’ve given up on, not only men, but humankind altogether. But then, on your last attempt at online dating, you will strike gold.

I’m sure today you would never think you could ever date someone else, but you can. And you will.

He will be just as kind, if not kinder. He will be smart, funny, and driven. He will have life plans that don’t consist of playing in a mediocre band for peanuts the rest of his life. He’ll want to watch science shows with you and talk about religion and politics and all of the things that you never got to do with anyone else. He’ll wake up in the middle of the night just to kiss you. He’ll let you sleep on his chest when you don’t feel well and make you soup after all 1,000 of your stupid gum surgeries. And you won’t stop smiling throughout fall and winter. It’s still new, but he’s cool. I promise. You’d never date a shitty dude this long. Truuuuust.

Most importantly, you will get your life back. I’m not talkin’ the post-break-up life. I’m talking about the PRE RELATIONSHIP LIFE. The life before you fell into that illusionistic love. Not all love is an illusion, but from the moment you met your ex, you disappeared. And you will realize that throughout the course of the next year.

Real relationships do not form when two halves come together to make a whole. They consist of two individuals who want to remain individuals but be together simultaneously. They don’t complete each other, but compliment each other. And you certainly have become complete again since losing that half of yourself that you gave to someone else years ago. You’ll never do that again.

There you have it. Never fear, Lara, dear! You’re going to be more than alright. You’re going to be better than you ever have. Because you will find what you loved most in this world-yourself.

So get ready to cry. And laugh. And scream. And every other emotion that exists in this dimension. Because you are going to experience it all. But in a year from now, you are going to be one happy lady, and because of nobody but yourself.

Keep your head up kid,

You.

P.S. You’re totally going to be named Employee of the Month tomorrow morning. I know, I know. When you walk in crying your eyes out and dead from not sleeping, and your co-workers come out and yell SURPRISE! Don’t worry. They’ll understand. HAHA!

Don’t stop, no, I’ll never give up
And I’ll never look back, just hold your head up
And if it gets rough, it’s time to get rough

Giving Hope to the Hopeless: Successful Online Dating

 

Some of my favorite things to read about on WordPress are dating blogs-especially online daters’ posts. Something that was once thought of as a desperate, last-resort attempt at NOT becoming a cat lady or creepy-old-guy-in-the-corner-of-a-dive-bar is now considered the “norm.”

DO YOU HEAR THAT MY OLD LEBANESE DAD?! THE NORM! You don’t have to go round up one of my third cousins to meet me at the alter once I hit 28.

Even when I told my mother about The Drummer, she was SUPER excited.OH! That’s AMAZING! Yer Auntie Judy did that YEARS ago. Put an ad out in the classifieds and she ended up marrying the guy! Imagine that? YOU COULD BE MARRIED!

Relax, mom. You’re making me want to run away from this guy.

Anyways, back to my post.

I’ve made it past 2 dates with someone “normal” from Okcupid and all of a sudden I feel like I’ve been touched by the online dating Gods, grown “beer muscles” and I’ve seen the light, so I want to share all of my Jesus loving dating wisdom with you all.

I wouldn’t consider myself an “expert” on dating, per say, but for the love of GOD I’ve been on enough dates AWFUL dates to consider myself at least a bit more seasoned than your average noob. I’m also very analytical about every step I take in the online dating process, and I’ve found some consistencies with success. Or at least how to not have a shitty date.

When I re-entered the online dating world a few months ago, I was EXTREMELY careful this time around. I followed a careful set of rules and it took me almost an entire month to go on a date. I chose The Drummer very carefully and completely changed how I approached online dating. Even if this thing I have going on doesn’t work out, at least I know I did a better job of finding a potential guy by actually trying a different method.

RULE #1    NIX THE “YOLO” PERSPECTIVE

I know, I know. I could have used a better way of describing this rule without using YOLO, but dammit, this is America and I’ll do what I want. When I first started online dating, I went on several dates with men who seemed good looking and interesting, but there was something that just wasn’t there-even before going on the actual date. I’d say, “Oh, well. He’s cute and nice. I’ll just go on the date to see what happens. It can’t hurt.”

 

YES. IT. CAN. HURT.
You know what hurts? Having that “feeling” and getting to the restaurant and realizing you were right.

You know what else hurts? Having that “feeling” and then THEIR TOOTH FALLS OUT OF THEIR MOUTH.

You know what else hurts? Having that “feeling” and having to tell countless guys that you’re just not into them.

Since the beginning of time, women have had intuition. It’s never failed us and it’s a gift. So fucking use it.

RULE #2    MAKE SURE YOU HAVE ENOUGH PHOTOS TO LOOK AT

This is a pretty important one (though they really are all important). Online dating is worse than a box of the gamble chocolate you get on Valentine’s Day. You pick out a chocolate that “looks good” but it’s not enough. You need more info. And before you know it, you take that bite and it’s not what you thought it was going to be.

I’ve gone on many dates with guys who only had a few pictures. I’d get all excited, get to the date, and BAM. DUDE LOOKS NOTHING LIKE HIS PHOTOS. It’s false advertising. Especially the guys/girls who post photos of themselves from a decade ago. I get PISSED at make-up companies who put falsies on their mascara models, so don’t think I’m singling YOU out.

Dating Tip: If you really want to take a chance with the guy/girl with only one photo, once you move over to texting, start sending a picture here and there of yourself. NOT DIRTY PHOTOS *UNLESS YOU’RE INTO THAT SORT OF THING* but just some “hello” pictures. I’ve done this plenty of times and more often then not, they’ll send you a picture back. That way, you know you’re not talking to some 400 lb video gamer dude in Texas AND you get a real time photo. Not just “one of his best.”

RULE #3        TRY TO GET A SENSE OF THEIR PRESENCE

Now, this sounds like it would be extremely difficult, but TRUST ME. It really isn’t. A lot of people complain about how let down they are when they meet someone online and there’s no connection or they weren’t what they seemed. I’ve complained about this many times until I started trying harder. I’d look at their photos and really try to visualize what it would feel like to be standing right in front of them. This has helped me weed out a lot of potentially bad dates. Try it, honestly. If you concentrated hard enough, I’m sure you could do it. Get that “feeling?” Refer to RULE #1.

 

Dating Tip: Along with this rule, FaceTime or Skype is a GREAT way to get a feel for how it would be meeting in real life. Chemistry is all about how you feel when you’re with that person. It’s an energy thing. You can’t fall in love with a picture. You need to see them move, hear them talk, notice their mannerisms. THAT is what makes chemistry.

RULE #4    A SUMMATION OF ALL THESE RULES: BE PICKY.

To conclude this little information session, I just want to give you two words that sums up this ENTIRE process:

BE PICKY.

Honestly.

People that don’t like seafood, don’t eat lobster.

You’ll never see people who don’t like warm colors wearing orange.

And people who are super against drugs aren’t going to fucking smoke crack.

So, do yourself a favor, and be picky. One of the FEW times where it actually matters. If you really want to JUST SAY YES to the date, go for it. I’m only giving you guys the tips I found were useful.

 

Happy dating. And may the odds be ever in your favor.

The Beatitudes Of Online Dating

Ha! Amen, brother.

Thought Catalog

Blessed are they who meet their husband or wife online,
    for their collection of lizards is exemplary.

Blessed are they who do not tweet about their online dates,
    for their soul is still intact.

Blessed are they who see one person at a time,
    for they believe love is possible.

Blessed are they who have been online dating for more than a year,
    for their struggle is great in every area of life.

Blessed are they who write hey, what’s up in their first message,
    for their ESPN will not watch itself.

Blessed are they who have pictures of themselves in a bathing suit,
    for they know not what they do.

Blessed are the laid-back guys who do not want any drama,
    for they will die alone.

Blessed are they who start a profile strictly to receive praise,
    for their heart has never experienced human emotions.

Blessed are they who…

View original post 185 more words

Dates & Gays: Weekend Recap

Ayyyy WordPress. Missed my little corner of space. Lots to update on, but first, I need my caffeine to kick in. I got NO sleep this weekend. Friday I didn’t get home until about 3 in the morning and Saturday I got in at 4ish. I’m getting too old for this. I remember staying up all night during college and going to class the next morning without even a yawn. Not anymore.

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Saturday Recap: Boston’s Gay Nightlife

Oh my God. Saturday was SO much fun. We hit up downtown Boston for Epic Saturdays at the House of Blues. Out of all of the gay clubs in Boston, that has GOT to be my favorite. The bartenders are incredible, the music is off the heeeeazy, and the club goers are super positive, awesome people. I don’t think I’ve met one person I didn’t like there.

The best part has to be the go go dancers.

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These men are beefy, pretty much naked, and their dance moves will make you rethink your religion. There was one dancer that kept eyeing me all night so I whipped out a dollar and danced over to him. He straddled me with glowing muscular legs and let me put the dollar in his eheem barely there “underwear.” After I gave him the dollar, he looked at me, shook his head and said “No, no. You come here.” So he pulled me closer to him and put my face right where the sun don’t shine. He threw a towel over my face and gave me the dance of my life. I laughed for about 10 minutes after that. Best experience of the night. To the go-go dancers of Boston: You rock my world.

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We spent a good hour in the city after the club closed just screwin’ around and talking to people. On the walk back to the car, we saw a group of people jumping some guy. Since I had quite a few drinks in me, I started to walk towards them until my friends intervened, “Lara! This is NOT your problem. Please. Please don’t do anything.” My friends are quite familiar with how I sometimes fight dudes. Once I got close enough to the group, I heard someone say, “He punched a girl in the face!” so once I heard that, I backed away. I wasn’t getting physically involved in THAT. Instead, I let a cop know about the fight once we got further enough away from the crowd of people. I did my duty, but I wasn’t going to risk my life to protect someone who hits girls. Once we got home, I downed a bunch of whiskey and passed out. NOT a good idea guys. I was hurrrrrting yesterday morning.

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Friday Recap: Date #2 with The Drummer

I spent my Friday night with the lovely Drummer. We went to an Irish Pub I chose closer to where he lived. It was a comfortable place and not too crowded in the beginning of the night, so we had tons of time for good conversation. The food was really good and the drinks were fabulous (though it’s hard to mess up a Jameson and ginger ale, it’s still possible). I honestly had such a great time you guys. It was a little weird-driving there I honestly thought this second round was going to be a disaster and I’d realize that I actually don’t like him and we’re not as similar as I thought, but it was the complete opposite. We were way more comfortable with each other since it was the second date and we talked throughout the week. He’s just so..positive. Like, not even in a cliché way. He told me from the get go that he never gets mad and I honestly think he’s serious.

We talked about everything you’re NOT supposed to talk about on a second date-politics, religion, etc. We just kind of laughed it off because for an inappropriate conversation, it was so intellectually stimulating. I don’t believe in those types of dating rules because if someone has opposing views that are not accepted by one or both parties, then might as well get it out of the closet as soon as possible. The Drummer and I have different opinions on those touchy topics, but neither of us feel like shoving it down each other’s throats. He completely accepts my views and thinks they’re interesting and worthy of my opinion and I thought the same as him. Religion isn’t a deal breaker with me as long as you don’t try to change MY mind. I’m a very spiritual person and that’s something very close to my heart. As long as that’s understood, I’m fine with whatever you believe.

Throughout the course of the night, more people started piling in and a DJ *RECORD SCRATCH* a-girl-wearing-no-pants-and-playing-music-from-her-computer started playing music and we people watched as loads of drunk people started dancing. It was odd to see an Irish Pub turn into a sort of dance party in mere minutes. It wasn’t very cool, but entertaining at least. I loved watching the girl to my right, drunk off of Mike’s Hard Lemonades, drop her beer bottle mid hip swing and pretend like it didn’t happen. Oh please girl. Go on with your bad hard lemonade self.

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Once the lights turned on and we realized the bar was closing, we decided we drank a little too much and should walk it off. We spent the next hour walking around the neighborhood and talking. It wasn’t too cold out, so the fresh air was actually nice. As we were walking down one of the streets, he stopped me and we kissed. A lot. I think we stayed in that spot for the rest of the time we spent outside. It was so nice to be with someone who just wanted to kiss you and not steal your underwear or lose a tooth or have your brother call my mom a diiiiirty girl. Not to say it wasn’t steamy as all hell. TRUST ME. From a girl who has the mind of a man, you have NO idea how hard it is to be good while “dating.” But as hard as it was (no pun intended), I stuck to my plan and made an easy breezy exit so we didn’t start getting any ideas. I like this whole dating and waiting thing. It’s a challenge, but it’s fun. And it keeps things exciting. Who wants to have all of their mysteries out in a second? That’s boring.

So Date #2 was a success. I really do like him and spending time with him. I wish school didn’t take up such a big part of my life because I’d opt to see him more, but until December 22, I’m married to my homework. But that’s okay. We talk a lot. And he’s interesting. And sweet. And genuine. And actually wants to get to know me. This is definitely all new for me and a little scary since I had a really rough break up earlier this year, but I think this is exactly what I need. Whether or not it lasts, at least I know little spurts of fireworks can actually happen. We’ll just have to see.

Today I just pray that I don’t fall asleep before work is over. I need another coffee.

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