We were together for years. And over the last few months, my heart has been breaking piece by piece.
The others were never good enough. They left me with a bad taste, and I knew my nights with them would never last. They were most certainly one night stands, and for a while, I felt like that was all I’d ever have.
But then, I saw him and experienced all of his glory.. He was one of very few words. He never spoke back, got sassy, or told me I was wrong. Actually, being with him made me feel so right. He lifted me up when I was down and made me fly when I was already high. And for the first time in my life, I thought I had met my match.
It wasn’t until early this year, when I started changing my life around that things got rough with us. I began trying to be healthier, and in turn spent less time with him. I think the distance made him angry – because every time we actually got together, it was short lived and I always went to bed alone with a sick feeling in my stomach.
It wasn’t until last month, when I thought I’d give it one more shot, that I truly knew it was over. I thought it would be sweet to spend the Halloween weeks together in Salem Massachusetts, where celebrating before the actual holiday wouldn’t be so out of the ordinary.
We had dinner, which was lovely, and everything went fine for a few hours. We met again at a tavern and I thought the chill running through me was just from the cold. But alas, it was not. I got home and felt that same sick, sad feeling in my stomach. I could hear him yelling at me as I wept and vomited in the bathroom.
YOU’RE NOT THE SAME! YOU CAN’T HANDLE ME ANYMORE, CAN YOU?
And just like that, I knew. No, sir. I cannot handle you anymore. My healthy lifestyle has torn me from your sweet aroma. My clean body and mind makes it difficult to spend any reasonable amount of time with you. It hurts to be without you, but it hurts more when I’m with you.
We had many great, wonderful years together. I’ll never forget how happy he made me feel. I’ve started moving on, slowly but surely, and I know that even though we aren’t together, I’m in a great place in my life. Time will only tell if we ever meet again. Maybe a short embrace here and there, but that’s all we’ll ever have between us.
Jameson, I will always love you. Thank you for the time we did have. Until we meet again.