Oh Hey, WordPress.

Um, WordPress? Is that you? Do you remember me?

Does anyone even read my stuff anymore? Haha

My apologies for being an awful blogger. Life has a way of making your interests change with the wind. It isn’t that I’m not interested in writing anymore. It’s just I have been preoccupied with other things that I have less time for internet searching & writing. Plus, the amount of writers block I have surpasses any ability to “publish post.” Like, when I tell you I’m having a hard time blogging, I LEGIT am. I have about a dozen posts where I have a few sentences written in each and they are collecting dust in my drafts. I just have so much to say, how in the hell am I having trouble writing it all down?

I officially finished with classes last week for the summer. I decided to take some months off because the weather is starting to get nicer and I really wanted to enjoy the seasons. Last summer was seriously the best summer I’ve ever had (AND I was single, mind you) and I don’t want this one to be any different. It’ll give me more time to be outside, be with my friends, and of course to work out more.

Which BY THE WAY, I’m 8 lbs over my goal weight and counting! I’m honestly not looking to lose more poundage, it just comes with the territory of working out every day. However, if I lose any more than 9 lbs, I will have to start eating more because then I’d be underweight. Who the hell would have thought I would ever have that issue? Haha!

And I assure you all, it’s from the healthiest way possible. I eat 5 meals a day and workout 4-5 days a week. I keep my body completely nourished and I pay very close attention to what I’m eating. My mom gets all worried because I’m so crazy about it, but she needs to relax. I’ve been quitting smoking, cutting down on drinking, and now I’m addicted to….fitness?…eating healthy? OHHHH THE HORROR! Someone get me a Marlboro.

Jokinnnng.

I’m not going to lie, life has been pretty good. It’s a bit dull because Spring has just sprung and it’s still a bit too cold to venture outside of the business walls, but rest assured I will be out there.

I know some of you may be wondering how me and The Drummer are doing, and honestly I have no complaints. We’ve been dating for about 5 months! Can you believe it? Time has honestly flown and I couldn’t be any happier. We are so different, but mesh together so well and that’s part of the reason I keep coming back for more. He’s intelligent, honest, and I value his opinion because it makes me think of something different than my own – even if I don’t necessarily agree with it. I never would have thought a year ago that I would be where I am, with who I am with, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I did have a bit of a breakdown a few weeks ago. Drunken conversations fueled some tears and frustration in me that I buried pretty deep for a while. OHHH the first Lara cry of the relationship: Drummer, you are officially welcomed into my life. Not with frustrations at him at all – but frustrations in myself. Though I had been going through the motions of the relationship and truly enjoying our time together, I refused to admit to myself that I liked him as much as I do. I never really spoke about him to my friends (though he’s met them) and when people ask how we are I simply just say “fine.” Though I know, it’s more than fine. It’s great. It’s wonderful. And a relationship like ours deserves some boasting. But I had been just so subconsciously afraid of giving “us” that positivity or even anything at all, that I’ve been holding back.

And I can’t do that anymore.

I am happy. And I have to stop being afraid of being happy because that was one of my downfalls of the ex-relationship. I worried for so long that our relationship would end that I never enjoyed it fully.

I have quite the opposite with this relationship – I enjoy it to the fullest because I never know what tomorrow will bring. And I don’t worry anymore. Or worry at all actually.

Life is too short to put any effort into negativity. You just have to take whatever life throws at you and accept it with open arms – even if it knocks you down sometimes.

I’ll elaborate more in the near future – I just wanted to give you guys a quick update on life because it’s been so long. And my writing is awfully rusty. I still read – don’t you worry. I know ALL ABOUT YO LIVES!

And for anyone just tuning in, I will be a better blogger. I promise! As soon as the sun gets hotter, the creative juices will start flowing. Ew. That sounded kind of gross actually.

x

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19 comments

  1. I’ve been struggling to write anything new myself so I know exactly where you’re coming from Lara.

    At least you know I’m still here reading. Of course, I know that you can’t have read my latest post as you would’ve said something for sure 😉

    That’s OK though. You’re one of my favourites so you’re forgiven.

    1. Aww Sean I’m so sorry! I’ll check it out right now. It didn’t come up in my feed – probably because it’s been a while since I’ve been on here. I’m on it ! 🙂

      1. Haha. No need to apologise my dear. It’s always a pleasure when you visit. Whenever that may be. Though the post you checked out wasn’t even the one I was referring to… I think you might enjoy the latest one haha

  2. I think we are similar in that we both go through phases of blogging/not blogging. I’m in one of those phases now where you can’t get me to shut the hell up. I don’t think anyone is likely to forget who you are. I still get a big smile when I see your name appear in my reading list. Glad things are going well for you. Roll on summer if it means we get a little more Lara action.

  3. Must be a shitty year, right guys? Same blogging funk here.

    Well, I have been blogging for a local alternative newspaper, which is a twice-a-week gig now as of this week. We do this for free, because we are passionate about it. Perhaps things would be different if WordPress was paying us? (However, the paper isn’t paying me yet.)

    Regardless, let the ideas come to you and go crazy with them.

    1. Aww omg Chris that’s awesome! I’m so happy for you. You’re a great writer ESPECIALLY your pieces about living in Syracuse. It’s only a matter of time before they make it rain on you! haha

  4. I’m so happy to stumble upon this blog post and see you’re doing okay. My god i’m having as much of a writers block problem as you are. But it’ll happen. Glad you’ve made so many huge positive steps in your life. Definitely not forgotten 🙂

      1. Ah, i’m good. Maybe even great. The job is as good as it’ll get even though the pay is utter shit until early NEXT year. But I’ll live with that. Might get a solid job out of it. I’ve just been totally flat when it comes to sharing anything on my blog, makes me super anxious lately. I dunno.. I drop by occasionally to read a few of my favourite blogs! I’m just like you though, I have way too many drafts just sitting there. UGH. So frustrating hah.

      2. Aww well hey, not too long ago you were dying for a job. You gotta start somewhere! I’m really happy for you. Yeah, it seems we all came here with a rush of emotions and we got most of them out. It’s hard when you’ve been writing so long to keep at it . Ugh We will get back to it, I’m sure!

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