I got new glasses yesterday. I happen to be pretty much blind as a bat – near and far sighted in each eye, a different prescription for each. It’s insane that I’ve gone this long without specks. Got my reading ones last week and the all the time ones yesterday.
So I pick Taco up after work for our Wednesday workouts. I’m raving on and on about how I can’t stop looking at street signs and far away font because I can actually read the words.
“Oh my God, Taco. I can see so much better now, I—-aaaaaaaaand there’s [ex].”
Yup. Whilst raving about my new clear vision, I get a clear view of my ex driving by me.
It was weird.
I haven’t seen him since last May, when he almost ruined my birthday.
He showed up to the bar 10 minutes before closing.
And took me outside and called me pretty.
And then said how sad this was.
We stared at each other for the last 10 minutes. Hugged.
And then turned around and walked away in totally opposite directions.
I shit you not. That’s what happened.
Thanks bro. Happy Birthday to me.
Yesterday stung. Just a little. Just a tiny little pea pod of a little sting.
Not sure if that ever goes away.
It was just a reminder of what feeling something was like.
Every now and then I catch myself numb about love.
I like my boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong. He makes me smile. A lot.
And I am so happy with our little relationship.
But I still have this wall. This shield over me.
And it protects me so much that I know if anything were to happen to us, I would be bummed, but not broken.
I know I can only hold a wall up for so long.
And I don’t want it to fall on me.
I want it to be taken down gracefully.
But we’re not there yet. And that’s okay.
Yesterday stung for a second, but I laughed for 5 minutes after.
I think that’s a good ratio. Word. Up.