#100HappyDays Day 6: Sweatin’ Coffee

#100HappyDays Day 6

Coffee.

I wish my day began like the Folgers commercials from the 80’s. Laying in bed with my hubster while that sweet, sweet aroma makes its way from the crappy coffee maker up the stairs to our bedroom…

Except in my version, hubs and I would get in a morning quickie before the kids followed the scent of coffee.

“Go play with your dolls, girls! Pancakes when Dad and I are done!”

No, but really. Today I’m giving a shout out to my big, long-time supporter in life: Coffee. I don’t discriminate. I love all of you. I’m sort of the pimpstress of coffees. And this one’s for you baby..

Dunkins. You’ve been my dude since high school. I’ve had you when I shouldn’t and longed for you when I was in need. Though your prices creep up slowly like a stranger in an alleyway, I turn around and give you that extra ten cents because that turbo shot makes my heart go boom boom.

Starbucks. You’re like a stripper at a really expensive night club. As I wait in line, I catch a glimpse at all of the desirable sweet treats you have to offer, but I stray away from them because they’re bad for my health. Most of the time, I’m cheap and pay for a tall macchiato, but I know if I really want a vente in the back room, I’m going to have to pay top dollar. So when I’m feeling a little extra, I slide right into home with you.

McDonald’s. You’re definitely a grow-er, not a show-er. When I first saw your small, itty bitty price, I thought I was going to get robbed out of a good time. But as soon as I handed over my dollar, I was returned with this surprisingly big, big cup that filled my mouth with such joy that I couldn’t even look Dunkin’s in the eye as I drank you at the stop light in the plaza. Newman’s, you Own my heart.

Maxwell House. I’m going to end with you because since I start my morning with you, it wouldn’t be fair to my other caffeinated bitches if I didn’t give them a second in the spotlight. My mom introduced us back when I realized I was spending too much money on the other hoes. It took a while to get used to your unsweetened taste, but when I met the Columbian blend, I got my socks knocked the frigg off. That blend makes me go all day, and I know that if I drank it before bed, I’d go all night too. Kisses, boo.

I Love Me My Coffee. And That Shit Makes Me Happy.

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10 comments

  1. Oh, coffee! Enough said. In these parts our local roasters blow the chains out of the water. It’s hard for me to go back to Dunkins, since they have frequently messed up my coffee orders, and Starbucks… because it’s Starbucks.

    1. Haha hey. I live in Massachusetts where you can throw a baseball from one dunkin donuts to the next. LOL Seriously though it’s sort of weird that they are everywhere around here. Whenever I travel I’m like, “Dunkin Donuts in TEN MILES?! WHAT THE HELL?”

  2. HAHAHA! Lara, I just had my first great laugh for the morning. Thank you 🙂 This post is AWESOME.
    It’s also great because I have had 3 of the 4 on the list. When I was in South Korea I had the pleasure of living close to a Dunkin’ and my Sunday thing was a vanilla latte and onion cream cheese bagel.

    When I arrived at the airport in Singapore, I was so excited to see Starbucks (because I only used to see it on TV), I spent my last couple dollars on getting coffee instead of something to eat.

    Mickey D’s: A grower and not a show-er – I love that! For some odd reason I don’t have coffee there anymore. I used to be crazy about the chai tea but then I stopped that too.

    Love your #100DaysOfHappy. Keep on shining and being happy my friend!

    1. Haha! THanks, Liam. I’m a big coffee addict. I prefer the strong stuff, but I live near almost every chain imaginable so I deal with what I’ve got. Though I love me some Starbucks. even though the price is outrageous.

  3. That’s certainly an…interesting way at looking at coffee. I am an addict too. Although Costa is, and always will be my mistress.

  4. Girl you have no idea how much I agree with this. My best friend recently sent me a picture that said something like “Who doesn’t drink coffee? I mean, it’s just coffee. It’s not a drink, it’s a hug”
    Coffee is not JUST a drink. Coffee is everything! haha
    There’s just not enough words for how amazing coffee is and it absolutely is something to be thankful for! Haha

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