The Beatitudes Of Online Dating

Ha! Amen, brother.

Thought Catalog

Blessed are they who meet their husband or wife online,
    for their collection of lizards is exemplary.

Blessed are they who do not tweet about their online dates,
    for their soul is still intact.

Blessed are they who see one person at a time,
    for they believe love is possible.

Blessed are they who have been online dating for more than a year,
    for their struggle is great in every area of life.

Blessed are they who write hey, what’s up in their first message,
    for their ESPN will not watch itself.

Blessed are they who have pictures of themselves in a bathing suit,
    for they know not what they do.

Blessed are the laid-back guys who do not want any drama,
    for they will die alone.

Blessed are they who start a profile strictly to receive praise,
    for their heart has never experienced human emotions.

Blessed are they who…

View original post 185 more words


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