Dates & Gays: Weekend Recap

Ayyyy WordPress. Missed my little corner of space. Lots to update on, but first, I need my caffeine to kick in. I got NO sleep this weekend. Friday I didn’t get home until about 3 in the morning and Saturday I got in at 4ish. I’m getting too old for this. I remember staying up all night during college and going to class the next morning without even a yawn. Not anymore.

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Saturday Recap: Boston’s Gay Nightlife

Oh my God. Saturday was SO much fun. We hit up downtown Boston for Epic Saturdays at the House of Blues. Out of all of the gay clubs in Boston, that has GOT to be my favorite. The bartenders are incredible, the music is off the heeeeazy, and the club goers are super positive, awesome people. I don’t think I’ve met one person I didn’t like there.

The best part has to be the go go dancers.

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These men are beefy, pretty much naked, and their dance moves will make you rethink your religion. There was one dancer that kept eyeing me all night so I whipped out a dollar and danced over to him. He straddled me with glowing muscular legs and let me put the dollar in his eheem barely there “underwear.” After I gave him the dollar, he looked at me, shook his head and said “No, no. You come here.” So he pulled me closer to him and put my face right where the sun don’t shine. He threw a towel over my face and gave me the dance of my life. I laughed for about 10 minutes after that. Best experience of the night. To the go-go dancers of Boston: You rock my world.

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We spent a good hour in the city after the club closed just screwin’ around and talking to people. On the walk back to the car, we saw a group of people jumping some guy. Since I had quite a few drinks in me, I started to walk towards them until my friends intervened, “Lara! This is NOT your problem. Please. Please don’t do anything.” My friends are quite familiar with how I sometimes fight dudes. Once I got close enough to the group, I heard someone say, “He punched a girl in the face!” so once I heard that, I backed away. I wasn’t getting physically involved in THAT. Instead, I let a cop know about the fight once we got further enough away from the crowd of people. I did my duty, but I wasn’t going to risk my life to protect someone who hits girls. Once we got home, I downed a bunch of whiskey and passed out. NOT a good idea guys. I was hurrrrrting yesterday morning.

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Friday Recap: Date #2 with The Drummer

I spent my Friday night with the lovely Drummer. We went to an Irish Pub I chose closer to where he lived. It was a comfortable place and not too crowded in the beginning of the night, so we had tons of time for good conversation. The food was really good and the drinks were fabulous (though it’s hard to mess up a Jameson and ginger ale, it’s still possible). I honestly had such a great time you guys. It was a little weird-driving there I honestly thought this second round was going to be a disaster and I’d realize that I actually don’t like him and we’re not as similar as I thought, but it was the complete opposite. We were way more comfortable with each other since it was the second date and we talked throughout the week. He’s just so..positive. Like, not even in a cliché way. He told me from the get go that he never gets mad and I honestly think he’s serious.

We talked about everything you’re NOT supposed to talk about on a second date-politics, religion, etc. We just kind of laughed it off because for an inappropriate conversation, it was so intellectually stimulating. I don’t believe in those types of dating rules because if someone has opposing views that are not accepted by one or both parties, then might as well get it out of the closet as soon as possible. The Drummer and I have different opinions on those touchy topics, but neither of us feel like shoving it down each other’s throats. He completely accepts my views and thinks they’re interesting and worthy of my opinion and I thought the same as him. Religion isn’t a deal breaker with me as long as you don’t try to change MY mind. I’m a very spiritual person and that’s something very close to my heart. As long as that’s understood, I’m fine with whatever you believe.

Throughout the course of the night, more people started piling in and a DJ *RECORD SCRATCH* a-girl-wearing-no-pants-and-playing-music-from-her-computer started playing music and we people watched as loads of drunk people started dancing. It was odd to see an Irish Pub turn into a sort of dance party in mere minutes. It wasn’t very cool, but entertaining at least. I loved watching the girl to my right, drunk off of Mike’s Hard Lemonades, drop her beer bottle mid hip swing and pretend like it didn’t happen. Oh please girl. Go on with your bad hard lemonade self.

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Once the lights turned on and we realized the bar was closing, we decided we drank a little too much and should walk it off. We spent the next hour walking around the neighborhood and talking. It wasn’t too cold out, so the fresh air was actually nice. As we were walking down one of the streets, he stopped me and we kissed. A lot. I think we stayed in that spot for the rest of the time we spent outside. It was so nice to be with someone who just wanted to kiss you and not steal your underwear or lose a tooth or have your brother call my mom a diiiiirty girl. Not to say it wasn’t steamy as all hell. TRUST ME. From a girl who has the mind of a man, you have NO idea how hard it is to be good while “dating.” But as hard as it was (no pun intended), I stuck to my plan and made an easy breezy exit so we didn’t start getting any ideas. I like this whole dating and waiting thing. It’s a challenge, but it’s fun. And it keeps things exciting. Who wants to have all of their mysteries out in a second? That’s boring.

So Date #2 was a success. I really do like him and spending time with him. I wish school didn’t take up such a big part of my life because I’d opt to see him more, but until December 22, I’m married to my homework. But that’s okay. We talk a lot. And he’s interesting. And sweet. And genuine. And actually wants to get to know me. This is definitely all new for me and a little scary since I had a really rough break up earlier this year, but I think this is exactly what I need. Whether or not it lasts, at least I know little spurts of fireworks can actually happen. We’ll just have to see.

Today I just pray that I don’t fall asleep before work is over. I need another coffee.

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17 comments

  1. “Their dance moves will make you rethink your religion.” Hilarious. Sounds like a fun weekend.

    The drummer sounds good. I am with you on the talking about whatever the heck you want thing. Plus, politics, religion etc. tend to betcha topics people actually get passionate about and you learn about them. You can find out how someone’s mind works, what their priorities are and it doesn’t mean because they believe in one god or support one party that you are not compatible.

    So, I need to ask you, with this drummer chat. Do you think it takes someone else filling the void to get you over your ex? I’m just thinking I’m nearly at the four month mark and I can’t imagine ever feeling OK. I can’t contemplate dating, but in the long run, do you think that someone else is the only thing that will completely absolve the pain?

    Good luck staying awake today. God bless caffeine.

    1. Giiiiirl I bet if you got yourself to a male strip club, you’d forget all your troubles for a few hours! haha!

      That’s SUCH a good question. I’ve been thinking about that a lot, but I’ve come to this conclusion: No. Being with someone else does not take the pain of my break up away. I used to think it would, but I realized that these two men are in totally different parts of my brain and being. I no longer miss my ex. I miss what we HAD so much. I miss the certainty of forever. I miss the relationship. But at this very moment, I don’t miss him. Time really does heal wounds-the longer I’ve gone without him, the less I think about him and the less it hurts. But in the weirdest way, another man will never take his place, nor do I want them to. I have a special place for him in my heart that I know someday I’ll be able to pull my memories from. Right now, they’re still a little too raw to relive or think about, but I know someday I’ll be over it and I can look at our relationship and smile. If I felt like this guy was acting as a band aid, I honestly wouldn’t date him. I don’t want to fill a void, I want to start a new section of completeness while simultaneously filling that old void with self love and awareness. It feels odd to have an achy heart, yet be happy with another man all at the same time. That’s why I’m just taking it emotionally slow.

      I hope that answers your question.

      Basically, another man can begin a new chapter in your life, but he can’t rewrite the previous ones that were written by someone else.

      1. That makes sense, and very well explained too! How did you get so wise?

        Well, I’m excited to hear what happens with the drummer, but I also really admire you putting school first. I think I need to take a leaf out of your book and fill my life with stuff that isn’t men.

        I guess also – to continue to chapter/story metaphor, because I love a metaphor – a new guy can’t rewrite the previous chapter, but he can put it in a context which gives it meaning. So I’m crossing my paws for that. One day.

        x

      2. Yes! I never thought of it like that-“but he can put it in a context which gives it meaning.”

        It’s very true. Once you find someone who makes you love again, you realize why the first one didn’t work out. I’m a believer that if you really did have an amazing and healthy relationship (minus the ending, because the end of ALL relationships are messy) then you’re next one will be even better. Kind of like what happens after you make the first pancake. The rest of them get even more delicious hahah I think we need to make today Metaphor Monday.

  2. Lara – that is just the best news on several fronts:
    1. You didn’t go in for the fight AGAIN. Listen to Mike and stop doing that kind of thing! But seriously, really glad you backed yourself out of that – but applaud you for being upset at the situation – talking to the cops was def the better way to handle it.
    2. Really happy to hear he put a towel on you face first. Like… really glad to hear that 🙂
    3. You have got it 100% right with the drummer – that talking is coming easy, that no subject is taboo, that you don’t want to just hop into the sack but instead really want to share your minds and souls first and foremost — AWESOME. A real connection seems to be happening – and that’s the best. Couldn’t possibly be happier for you – and like you say, don’t want to get ahead of things, but this is certainly starting off incredibly well. Nice. Really nice 🙂

    1. Ahhh thank you 🙂 It really was a great weekend! My date was oh so fabulous and then I got man balls in my face by a beef cake go-go dancer! It doesn’t get much better than that.

      Dreaming that everyday was Saturday.

      1. Ha-ha! Yup, yup, yup…I guess there ain’t nothing quite like getting man balls in the face 🙂 — but it’s those woman balls you really need to watch out for!

  3. I agree with you about those touchy subjects. Politics and religion are two things that people hold dear. The opinions people have and the way treat those with opposing opinions says a lot about a person. Like you, I’d like to get those out during the first few dates.

  4. Huzzah, I’m glad the date went well! You gay-bar story killed me– I don’t even want my boyfriend’s crotch dancing up on my face like that hahahahaha you clearly have MUCH more stamina than me 😉

    Also: I don’t ascribe to all those dating rules either, it’s so much more fun to just have inappropriate conversations way too early. Though “dating and waiting” almost always pays off.

    1. OMG Aussa, I had to stop and think for a second, “Am I at a gay club or a strip club?” It was insane. The two pictures of the go-go dancers are from Saturday. The one on the left that looks naked-he’s the one that took my balls-in-face virginity. If you’re ever in Boston, let me know. I’m TOTALLY bringing you there.

      Dating and waiting totally pays off. I’ve never really gone with this rule before but it’s a little game I’m playing with myself. I must not trust my dirty mind!

      1. Yes– don’t trust it! And oh I will totally take you up on that, though let’s be real: I’d probably be huddled in a corner like a prude 😉 Who knows though… Maaaaybe not…

  5. Sounds like a great weekend! I’ll be sure to hit you up on a Saturday if I’m ever in Boston. Get my freak on with some go-go dancers! They don’s call them COCKtails for nothing..

    Sounds like you’re really hitting it off with The Drummer, and that’s awesome! After reading your blog, it seems like you’ve had your share of bad apples.. Here’s to hoping he’s amazing in bed!

    I really admire how you write! It’s so.. interesting to read! You’re stories are awesome, but honestly, I’m sure you could make a post about watching paint dry seem hilarious! You’re funny and interesting, and you have the greatest ability of them all: You’re not afraid to make jokes on your own behalf! This is great stuff.

    I hope caffeine saved your day! It sure as hell saved mine..

    -Evan

  6. oh my gosh! i hope that club stays open and good long enough for me to visit the east coast and go there! it sounds amazing! hahaha gay clubs just have this vibe about them! haha and dont have to worry about getting hit on by old creepy men! as for the date im so happy for you! fingers crossed it still keeps going on well! sounds like you two are good to go though (: im rooting for you! haha

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