Happy Monday peeps! I know, I know. You guys are DYING to know how my date went.
It’s going to be a quick post because of this one piece of bad news:
It went really, really well.
Why is that BAD, you ask? Because great dates are NAHHHT funny.
However, because I’m the most awkward person EVER, I can guarantee you will laugh at me at LEAST once.
I woke up on Saturday morning with sweaty palms. Legit. This is my seventh date since I actually started dating again. How can I STILL be nervous about this shit? We had plans to meet at the sports bar for 5 o’clock and that gave me plenty of time to do homework and get ready slash pick out an outfit slash stand in front of the mirror for two hours with twenty outfits wondering if my butt looks good in “those” jeans.
About an hour and a half before I had to leave, I did some singing to shake the nerves off. Singing puts me in my “happy” place, since I’m too ADD to find it any other way.
It worked for a solid 10 minutes.
Then I decided to drive around and listen to music before I headed up. That actually worked a little better than Karaoke Hour in my bedroom. The place wasn’t even that far from my house. I expected to have a little more time to freak out, but before I knew it I was there. And pulling in right behind him. Go figure.
I’ll spare the details because it was such an awesome date, that it’d be boring to tell you about. His teeth didn’t fall out. He didn’t try to steal my underwear. I guess that would be awkward since we were at a restaurant, but you know what I mean! It was bar food, which just so happens to be my FAV. I got a burger, because, well, you’ll never see me order a salad on a date.
He was so awesome. For the first time in Lara’s Extraordinary Dating History, he was exactly what I expected. We had the weirdest things in common, from our favorite movies to music. We swapped stories all night. I told him all about my online dating nightmares. I had him dying of laughter with all my bad luck. He told me about his date the week before with a girl from OKC and how awful she was. He said she portrayed herself as something totally different online than she was in real life (shocker) and she was just the strangest person ever. I teased him a little bit, expecting him to be a murderer or something because he seemed too normal.
We were at the sports bar for almost SEVEN hours. We couldn’t even believe it was that late when we left. We ate and drank enough to keep ourselves going and to keep the waitresses from wanting to kill us.
The best part was when we were leaving. I was SO nervous because was such a nice guy and I couldn’t tell if he liked me slash wanted to kiss me slash anything. He was SO hard to read. We walked to his car so he could give me a bottle of Johnny Walker Red that he confiscated from a student (he works at a college as a Resident Director). STAAAHP: Brownie points to the max. He knew the way to this woman’s heart: Scotch.
So then it was time to part ways. The only way to make it an official Lara date is to make the “goodbye” part extremely awkward. Cause yah know. That’s how I do. The Goodnight Kiss. I WANTED it to be super romantic and beautiful and filled with “grabba tissue” moments.
But knowing me, it wasn’t so romantical. It was about as awkward as this.
I went in for a hug, then his face turned. Stupidly, I was all like “Why did his face turn?” And I started to give him a peck on the cheek as his face kept turning and I smooshed my lips into the side of his once I realized he wanted a REAL kiss.
Lara. You are SO fucking awkward. Really, though.
It’s only because I actually liked him. It’s a lot easier to be suave when you’re just looking for a “right now.” He looked at me and thanked me for being amazing and that I wasn’t even a competition compared to his shitty date the week before.
And that’s it, guys! Sorry for the boring post, but it’s only because I had a pretty freaking sweet date. He was by far the best thus far and we’re definitely setting up a second on for this weekend. He texted me when he got home and told me I was a hands down 10/10. He has NO idea how he ranks in my dating game. I think I’d have to go beyond 10 points for that one.
We’ll see! Oh, Lara, you ACTUALLY are going to make it past a first date?
Up yours, Universe!