The Drummer: The Good, The Bad & The Awkward

Happy Monday peeps! I know, I know. You guys are DYING to know how my date went.

It’s going to be a quick post because of this one piece of bad news:

It went really, really well.

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Hallelujah.

Why is that BAD, you ask? Because great dates are NAHHHT funny.

However, because I’m the most awkward person EVER, I can guarantee you will laugh at me at LEAST once.

I woke up on Saturday morning with sweaty palms. Legit. This is my seventh date since I actually started dating again. How can I STILL be nervous about this shit? We had plans to meet at the sports bar for 5 o’clock and that gave me plenty of time to do homework and get ready slash pick out an outfit slash stand in front of the mirror for two hours with twenty outfits wondering if my butt looks good in “those” jeans.

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Totally kidding.

About an hour and a half before I had to leave, I did some singing to shake the nerves off. Singing puts me in my “happy” place, since I’m too ADD to find it any other way.

It worked for a solid 10 minutes.

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Then I decided to drive around and listen to music before I headed up. That actually worked a little better than Karaoke Hour in my bedroom. The place wasn’t even that far from my house. I expected to have a little more time to freak out, but before I knew it I was there. And pulling in right behind him. Go figure.

I’ll spare the details because it was such an awesome date, that it’d be boring to tell you about. His teeth didn’t fall out. He didn’t try to steal my underwear. I guess that would be awkward since we were at a restaurant, but you know what I mean! It was bar food, which just so happens to be my FAV. I got a burger, because, well, you’ll never see me order a salad on a date.

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He was so awesome. For the first time in Lara’s Extraordinary Dating History, he was exactly what I expected. We had the weirdest things in common, from our favorite movies to music. We swapped stories all night. I told him all about my online dating nightmares. I had him dying of laughter with all my bad luck. He told me about his date the week before with a girl from OKC and how awful she was. He said she portrayed herself as something totally different online than she was in real life (shocker) and she was just the strangest person ever.  I teased him a little bit, expecting him to be a murderer or something because he seemed too normal.

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We were at the sports bar for almost SEVEN hours. We couldn’t even believe it was that late when we left. We ate and drank enough to keep ourselves going and to keep the waitresses from wanting to kill us.

The best part was when we were leaving. I was SO nervous because was such a nice guy and I couldn’t tell if he liked me slash wanted to kiss me slash anything. He was SO hard to read. We walked to his car so he could give me a bottle of Johnny Walker Red that he confiscated from a student (he works at a college as a Resident Director). STAAAHP: Brownie points to the max. He knew the way to this woman’s heart: Scotch.

So then it was time to part ways. The only way to make it an official Lara date is to make the “goodbye” part extremely awkward. Cause yah know. That’s how I do. The Goodnight Kiss. I WANTED it to be super romantic and beautiful and filled with “grabba tissue” moments.

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But knowing me, it wasn’t so romantical. It was about as awkward as this.

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I went in for a hug, then his face turned. Stupidly, I was all like “Why did his face turn?” And I started to give him a peck on the cheek as his face kept turning and I smooshed my lips into the side of his once I realized he wanted a REAL kiss.

Lara. You are SO fucking awkward. Really, though.

It’s only because I actually liked him. It’s a lot easier to be suave when you’re just looking for a “right now.” He looked at me and thanked me for being amazing and that I wasn’t even a competition compared to his shitty date the week before.

And that’s it, guys! Sorry for the boring post, but it’s only because I had a pretty freaking sweet date. He was by far the best thus far and we’re definitely setting up a second on for this weekend. He texted me when he got home and told me I was a hands down 10/10. He has NO idea how he ranks in my dating game. I think I’d have to go beyond 10 points for that one.

We’ll see! Oh, Lara, you ACTUALLY are going to make it past a first date?

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Up yours, Universe!

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28 comments

  1. Haha, that first kiss is always awkward. Honestly, is it ever not? I had dated very few men when I met my current boyfriend, and while our first kiss felt wonderful to me, he told me (years later) that I was a horrible kisser. Good thing I’ve had a good teacher for 4.5 years.

    1. Hahah! I totally made it awkward just cause I wasn’t sure if he wanted to. I can assure myself and him that the next time will be much better. Now that I know he likes me. It’s hard to tell with nice guys

  2. Ah, the inevitable first kiss and the question of how and when it should take place. With my experience it seems that I hit an invisible bar whenever I go in, hitting my temple or forehead or side, and this causes sour face is made before the kiss happens.

    Kidding; I’m not “that” awkward. Perhaps, I should date taller women.

    Also, if Zoey is personally giving you permission to use those gifs, keep using them. Also, when you talk to her next, put in a good for me. I think she wouldn’t mind dating a “nobody.”

    1. Hahah oh man. I think we can all agree once in a while an awkward kiss has to happen. Thank God he already came to the consensus that he liked me before the kiss because I swear he would have run away.

      All I could think about during that moment was I felt like I was channeling a New Girl moment. I absolutely love Zoey and her randomness because if you took it town just a notch or two, she’s me in a nutshell. To the point where whenever I have a Zoey moment I put my spirit hands up and say “Who’s that girl? It’s Lara!”

  3. HURRAH!!!! So glad for the not at all boring post. That is such awesome news – couldn’t be happier for you. The first and best indicator that this was going to be a great date as far as I was concerned – was when you said it was going to be at a Sports Bar. Comfortable and casual – a real people place to meet and actually talk. No bullshit pretension blah-de-blah. My wife and I celebrated our 5th anniversary at a sports bar, after ducking into it when we both admitted we were dying to watch the NBA Finals game that was on — while we were on our way to a fancy, schmancy romantic dinner we had arranged. We had waaaay more fun at that sports bar chugging beers and eating wings all damn night. — Anyways, whew… now I’m really glad I didn’t make the “Little Drummer Boy” joke I almost made last week 🙂

    1. Aww thanks for the support! Yeah, it was a blast. I was so surprised. I think the only reason I get so nervous before a date is because I think it’s going to suck haha. Thank God it didn’t because I couldn’t think of a good exit strategy anyways. He chose this date so I’m going to pick something fun out for the next one. I was PUMPED it was at a sports bar. Whiskey, burgers, nachos, I mean, c’mon. Let’s skip the bullshit-I’m not fancy shmancy. I wouldn’t have agreed to something like that anyways.

      Haha and you can drummer joke until the cows come home! I gotta think of better tasteless ones to rebuttal with yours.

      1. Its good to be nervous before hand though – shows that you actually.. care. Man, I’ve just been reading so many horror stories of what women are going through these days dealing with the guys on dating sites – yours and a bunch of other ladies as well – plus there’s the stuff I see with my wife’s friends… yikes. So – so very cool to see you’ve found at least a first-date awesome dude. Fingers very, very crossed that it keeps moving in a very positive direction. The guy is probably over the moon he’s found a whisky, nachos and burgers kinda gal that he can hang out with – talk to – share interests with instead of having to do all the typically “romantic” nonsense. Sounds like things are off to a great start.

      2. Hahah yes. There are WAY more horror stories than happy ones. I consider this one lucky number 7. Statistically, there was just no way I could endure/experience another shitty date. No way!

      3. Cripes, I was just chatting with Linda over at Expat Eye in Latvia – not sure if you guys have met up yet – but seriously all she’s been getting so far are offers of group sex from married dudes during her on-line dating efforts – so consider yourself very lucky indeed it seems 🙂

  4. Aw, yay! This wasn’t boring at all, I loved it and am so so so happy he didn’t try to steal your underwear. It’s very true that it’s easier to be suave and non-awkward when you’re not really into the guy so it’s pretty cute that you were all smoosh-face kissing. Huzzah for a good date!

  5. Who really has these Hollywood kisses. Nobody. Glad your date went well. Really sweet and well written Piet. New fan here.

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