The Old Fashioned Way of Meeting People

The Old Fashioned Way of Meeting People

Ahh, Monday morning. A fabulous time to get to work, be depressed that the week has only begun, write to you about my not-so-amazing life, and try to put the fuzzy pieces together with regards to my weekend. What stole my memories? Whiskey. Lots. of. whiskey.

So, my first week back into online dating has been all but eh. I did start talking to one guy. I’m going to make this super original and call him The DJ because, well, he’s a DJ. Oh, how my creativity shines! Better yet, what is up with me and musicians? Do I just have some unconscious attraction to men who make a living playing music? Since my relationship ended back in March, I vowed to stay away from the music business. It’s hard to be the band girlfriend. Low availability, girls always drooling over your boyfriend, late night shows, late night calls, late night come-homes. It’s all part of the job. Luckily for HIM, I was pretty well equipped to handle a relationship like that because I’m a little too down to earth to be fretting over where my boyfriend is at every second of the day. But also, it was hard towards the end for me to handle. SO. I’m not really sure how dating a DJ would be any different or better, but it’s still a little too early to tell on that part.

What really drew me in to this guy was his outlook on life. His profile was so positive and upbeat. He wants to constantly strive to be more than he is everyday. And, everything he accomplished in his life was his doing, and his doing only. I don’t know too much about his personal life, but what I gather is he doesn’t really have a family and he’s been on his own for a very long time. So, since we vibed so well [electronically] I decided to be bold and give him my number. I honestly hate talking to people on Okcupid because the site itself has so many kinks. It kicks me off ALL the time and freezes constantly-only for a little robot to pop up and say “SORRY! Looks like we’re having issues.”

UM. We can grow a CHEESEBURGER in a test tube, but we can’t figure out how to get a dating mobile app to function properly? Well, if that isn’t the biggest oversight in the solar system then I don’t know what is.

Anyways, yes. I’m ballsy and gave out my number. I can usually tell when someone is going to be a crazy or not and he definitely didn’t seem like one. We texted back and forth for a little bit that first night. I don’t like to give too much away about myself because I need actual conversation material for when we decide to hang out. I haven’t decided when I’m going to ask him for coffee yet, but it’ll come to me. I’m a busy girl. Oh yeah, and that’s right guys. With online dating-I call the shots. I send the first message, I send my phone number, and I set up the date. I just like being in control of those things. If he wanted to go ahead and do any of that, I would have accepted it, but honestly life is TOO short to be waiting around for someone you don’t even know to get in touch with you.

Okay, forget about online dating now. I’m super excited because on Saturday night I actually met someone. IN REAL LIFE. The old fashioned way. I know, I know. EXCITING.

Now, I’m not giddy like a school girl or anything, but it’s so refreshing to do things the old way. I think it takes the nerves out of actually going on a date the next time you meet up because, well, you already talked in person for a few hours so what’s a big deal about a formal hangout?

My best friend from college came down for the weekend and since her birthday was about a week ago, me and another friend decided to take her out around our neck of the woods. We got all dolled up (And let me tell you. We looked smokin’) and did a little pregaming before heading out downtown. The last bar/club we went to is definitely the trashiest, but the drinks are cheap and strong, and there’s no cover. Deal me in!

The other two I was with already made friends as soon as we walked in, so I plopped myself at the bar and ordered myself a glass of Jameson. Since I was already a little under the weather, I can’t remember how the conversation started, but the good looking guy sitting right next to me started one up. I’m going to call him The Nerd. NOT because he is a nerd in any way. Well, maybe, I don’t know many details about him yet. But I was intrigued because I was super attracted to him (which is weird because he really isn’t my type) and he had a pair of those ridiculous hipster glasses on. Come to find out, they’re actually real. Like, he really needs them to see. Weird, I know, since everyone thinks it’s cool to wear prescription-less glasses now-a-days. So then the nerdy eye wear made me even more attracted to him. He’s from North Carolina. Moved up here for work (he’s an engineer). So, he’s cute AND successful?

Pinch me. Ow Ow, okay, thanks.

What REALLY got me into him was his sense of confidence. It wasn’t cocky whatsoever. Confidence. With a capital “C.” He was just so sure of himself. Even with his geeky demeanor, he had more game than 50 Cent. That’s my biggest turn on-intellectual and confidence simultaneously. Melting. We had amazing conversation. Yes, I was a little drunk, but never too drunk for a good convo with someone worth it. He was with a friend, The Wingman, who was equally as good looking (why can’t I have both?) but I decided on The Nerd in an instant. I kept The Wingman in the conversation because I know how awful it is to sit at a bar bored out of your mind while your friend is mackin it to someone. I think he really appreciated that because he was just engaged in the conversation as The Nerd and I were. I could feel myself getting closer and closer to The Nerd until finally I was literally attached to him sitting at the bar. Since it was technically a girls night, I felt like I had to go find my friends and hang with them, so I told him I had to go. That’s when he said, “Before you go, you should download that app that has my phone number in it.” HAHA. Most girls would think that’s the cheesiest line ever, but after over an hour of talking to him, it was music to my ears. So I took his number, gave him mine, and we texted each other that night to make sure we each got home safely. I spoke to him briefly yesterday. We exchanged some sarcastic texts and some more “getting to know each other” questions, but haven’t made any plans yet to see each other again.

When is a good time to make plans? How long do I wait? I’m not too good at knowing the contact rules. One of you guys have to help me out with this one.

The only thing that kind of gets me is the fact that he’s two years younger than me. I know it’s not a huge deal, but I’ve just learned through experience that any guy younger than I am has a high probability of life immaturity-like, they don’t know what they want. Ever. That’s why I’ve been trying to look for older guys.

But, like old fashioned dating is, you don’t get a choice of who you click with while sitting at a bar on a Saturday night. We’ll just see how it goes.

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8 comments

  1. Protip: don’t use the okc app. I just open the site from my phone’s browser.

    Good for you for taking charge with the messaging, phone number, and date. Take that confidence into your dealings with this hipster dude. One of the most frustrating things about dating is the bullshit with “contact” and when to text and when to call, and blah blah. It’s ridiculous how grown ass adults turn into insecure high schoolers in these scenarios. If you like the dude, just text him to grab coffee/drinks/lunch. Fuck rules. I guarantee you’ll put a smile on his face. If you’re feeling exceptionally ballsy, call him.

    1. Haha! Thanks for the tip mike. I hid my profile for now until I hang with these two boys or if things don’t pan out well. I can’t handle too many guys at once it gives me anxiety! And you’re right. No better time then the now. Haha and it’s so true! We lose about 5 to 10 years of maturity when it comes to relationships. I’m so glad your date went so well! It gives hope to us little people lol

  2. Why aren’t you a Brit, or my neighbour..god! haha. Anyway, the rules are so dumb and assumed, I’ve never once had a girl be forward or ballsy. It’s so boring. It’s refreshing to see you be assertive and show you know what you want.
    Why don’t you do it again? You know, coffee isn’t a big deal and you already have some (maybe hazy drunk, but still!) chemistry with this guy. No time like the present before you miss a chance I figure.
    Ps, I wear the big stupid hipster glasses, you know..to see. I’m hurt.

    1. Haha! No no, that’s why I liked him! Because he actually has those glasses for vision. I think the glasses are sexy when you NEED them. When you don’t, I think it just looks tacky. And you’re right. I think I’m gonna send him a text tonight or tomorrow. I decided I’d rather try for the guy I already know versus the guy from okc. I’ve got options now! Haha 🙂 and I know, I wish our little blogging community were a real one. Like an apartment complex! Lol I’ve always wanted to go to London. I’m 25% Brit! You know you’re the first person id look up!

      1. Well I guess I’ll let you off, good save! Good luck, I hope it goes well. Look at you, meeting people without using a dating site like it’s the 90’s!
        That would be the best apartment complex to live in, it’d be so positive. I’d feel ten times better every day.
        Get over here, I’ve barely seen London myself. It would be a good excuse 🙂

      2. Haha seriously! I’m so 20th century..

        Whaaa? You haven’t explored?! I guess I know what you mean. No matter how many times I go out in boston, I always discover something new! That’s why I love it so much

      3. I haven’t! I’m a northern lad that’s only newly moved down south. I still haven’t had an excuse to go to London much. Other than one gig that I went to a few months back. I’ve spent a couple hours wandering / enjoying time to myself between travelling through London but that’s all.
        There’s so much to see, I really have no excuse other than nobody to share exploring with.

  3. Lara, I love this post! You need to be here in Cape Town! The DJ sounds really good but The Nerd sounds divine! And that line…it is the cutest thing ever!!!! I hope you guys get to meet up soon. And…like Aaliyah said ‘age ain’t nothing but a number’

    I had a similar experience myself and I am going to do a small post about it tomorrow!

    I literally feel excited for you right now! 🙂

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