I Do NOT Make a Very Good Single Lady.

I Do NOT Make a Very Good Single Lady.

So it’s coming to the six month mark of being single and I have to say-I am absolutely exhausted- and I do not make a very good single lady. When I was in my relationship, I was totally girlfriend of the year. I cooked, I cleaned, I loved, I was totally monogamous and enthralled with being in a relationship. Fast forward to single life-I drink a lot, I meet a lot of men with whom I…Yeah, we don’t have to go there quite yet-and my filter is seriously clogged.

I’ve come to find out a few choice things about myself in these 6 months of solitude including:

1. I’m never satisfied.
2. I’m less of a lady than a frat boy.
3. I may have a slight drinking problem.
4. I definitely miss being someone’s miss.

I’ll elaborate a little more on these four specifics. To address number one, I truly am NOT satisfied in the dating world. I’ve been on a countless number of dates with so many really nice men. We’ve gone out, had a wonderful time, and then..well..I just lose interest faster than a 5 year old girl with her Barbie on Christmas morning. These guys are SO nice. I mean, really. Sweet, good looking, the whole package. What’s my deal? What makes it even worse is that they feel such a strong connection between us and I feel…nothing. The closest guy I felt a connection with didn’t reciprocate, which was of course disappointing but inevitable since I’ve turned down every nice guy to come my way. The best and most intimate parts of my summer were spent with guys who I didn’t have the pleasure of dating, but rather just had the pleasure. And truuuuust me. I don’t regret a second of my fun little sleepovers. It’s nice to be able to have fun and snuggle all night and then throw that dress back on in the morning and be on my merry way to run weekend errands and sunbathe by myself with a nice glass of Jameson by the pool.

This brings me to points two and three. I’m in no way a daily drinker but Lord, when Friday comes and I punch out at 5:00 PM, all I can think about is..whiskey. And if you are my bartender on the weekends, I usually tell you to pour heavy at least once. I’m usually out and about in Boston every weekend, drinking way more than I probably should and dancing until the lights turn on. This passed weekend was like any other weekend except there was a large lapse in time (in which I was like the woman version of Hugh Hefner on the dance floor), I lost my debit card, and I woke up in my bed on Saturday morning desperately wondering how in the world I got there.

Ugh alas, you all must be like, “What’s her issue? Sounds like a good life to me.” But guys, underneath my frat boy, Hugh Hefner, downing-the-whiskey façade, I truly am a hopeless romantic. I would MUCH rather be cuddling ONE person, dancing with ONE person, and dating ONE person. I know I’m in my prime and I should really be having fun. But, it’s not what I want. I want more. I’m not desperately seeking love, I’m just seeking one person to spend my time with. I know I just have to be patient. Luckily, I’m not desperately seeking my next relationship. I am very happy being alone. As happy as someone who’s alone can be. Luckily, I’m not self destructive, either. As my friends put it to me on Saturday: “Lara, when we go out with you-it’s not like ‘Ugh, Lara’s drunk again.’ It’s more like, ‘YES! LARA IS DRUNK AGAIN.'” Now, don’t get it twisted. I still love my whiskey, and I will always love whiskey. I’d just enjoy it more drinking it with someone else.

Advertisements

7 comments

  1. Once again, I just enjoyed reading this from top to bottom! Regarding point number one: I am the same and I have often wondered if the reason I don’t find a liking to a guy I have been on a date with is because I am so comfortable being alone and on my own? What do you think? I wish had the confidence to do those “sleepovers”. I’m too shy and inhibited…

    1. I think that’s definitely plausible! I blame my lack of connections on the fact that I just don’t love easily. I’m a complicated soul and sometimes, that’s a good thing. People shouldn’t love so easily-mistakes get made more rapidly that way. And don’t worry about not partaking in casual sleepovers! The best sleepovers are with the ones who you’re comfortable with. And that’s all that matters 🙂

      1. True! I have to admit, as a 30-something I have never really been in love with anyone! I did have a casual sleepover with an English guy who was visiting Cape Town though…it was actually cool! But not since then.

  2. Really happy I came across this — seems like we are in the same boat. I had a sleepover a few weeks ago but it didn’t go as planned. Looks like I’ll have more room in my bed for a while.

    1. Haha hey, we’re either all there or have been there. At least this summer’s made for some pretty good stories. Sometimes more room is good-I hate when someone unintentionally sleeps on my side anyways..

  3. It sounds like you’re just in that “phase” of being single. It has stages like withdrawal and grief. You’re body/subconscious is just telling you you’re not ready yet. That’s all. You like being with someone, but you need some good time to yourself. It’s like withdrawing from alcohol, you get to that point where it tastes bad which makes you not want it anymore. But that stage passes, too. I’m kind of in the same position. No matter how promising things look with some people, I just don’t feel satisfied in those relationships. But you don’t want to be in a relationship just to be in one, those are always bad and toxic. Make the most of this phase and you’ll be someone worthy’s arm candy in no time. Great stuff, as always.

    1. Aww thanks for the advice! I think you’re absolutely right. God, I’m having such a great time with myself, I might actually propose! Haha! In due time, I know I know 🙂 Same with you-you’ll get there too. Just gotta have fun along the way!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s